


A Gratuitous Mention of Candy Apple Red

by Liadt



Category: Find It Fix It Flog It RPF
Genre: Christmas, Junk, M/M, barns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17081918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liadt/pseuds/Liadt
Summary: It's December and Henry discusses ideas with Simon for the next series of the show.





	A Gratuitous Mention of Candy Apple Red

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the genprompt bingo prompt: These are a few of my favourite things.
> 
> Not real, don't sue:)

Inside a barn, Simon clambered up a large pile of junk in pursuit of what looked like a rare prototype BMX. On the ground, Henry had a good view of Simon’s jeans clad arse swaying from side to side as he climbed. Henry was glad the camera crew weren’t around as he couldn’t think of any banter which would be repeatable on daytime telly. And, as he reminded himself, sometimes you had to put business before pleasure.

“Si!” called Henry.

“What is it? Pleased I’m after something with two wheels?” said Simon.

“No, mate, I was thinking about what we should do in the next series.”

“Yeah,” said Simon, grabbing at the pipe work of an old toilet as a handhold. “We’ve been to this couple’s barn before. We need to find more places to visit.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that.”

“You were thinking the opposite: do a whole series with only two places? You’ll go for Stumpy’s HQ as it’s full of bikes and it’s been on TV nearly as much as your sheds. I’m sure you could squeeze a few more shows out of it.”

“We haven’t visited it more than anywhere else.”

“Maybe not, but it’s been on ‘Shed and Buried’ as well.”

“I didn’t know you watched.”

“I have to keep an eye on the competition, don’t I?” Simon would have winked down at Henry, but he didn’t want to lose his balance and fall off the heap.

“At least Stumpy’s is better than these titchy lock-ups you choose.”

“I didn’t force you to choose the frilly, girly, fashion prints, Mr rough, tough, biker Henry Cole, and I won with that titchy garage, remember?”

Henry did briefly think of chucking a petrol can at Simon’s head. A dint would add character. “What I was thinking about was seeing if Channel 4 was up for a Christmas special.”

“A Christmas special? Would I have to spray everything candy apple red too?” Simon paused, his feet resting on an old dentist’s sink. 

Henry laughed. “Nah, I’ve used up the nation’s supplies. I was just thinking, it’s six days ‘til Christmas.”

“And don’t I know it. I’ve got five layers on and I’m still freezing.”

“It gets into my bones too, son,” sympathetised Henry.

“We’d have to film it in June, because all Christmas episodes are filmed then. Just think … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah heat!” Simon had clutched at a handful of bailing twine, twisted around a rusty gate, and fallen to the ground when the strands had snapped. He’d had a soft landing though: Henry.

“Are you all right?” Landing in Henry’s lap wouldn’t be something Simon would worry about, normally.

“Fine,” wheezed a winded Henry. “This bail of mouldy straw saved me from any serious damage.”

Simon got off Henry and sat next to him on the straw. “Thanks for putting yourself between me and a concrete floor.”

“I’m a modern day hero,” said Henry, refilling his lungs.

“True, in the olden days it was the one with the flowing, golden locks who needed saving.”

“Ha, ha.” Henry hoped he wasn’t going to wake up with a bad back or similar tomorrow.

“This bailing twinge just came apart in my hands. It’s usually quite strong, isn’t it?”

“Rats and mice will have chewed through it,” said Henry, rural dweller.

“Oh right. You know what my favourite Christmas carol is?”

“No. Phil Carroll, all round handyman?”

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.”

“And I was your comfort-able landing.”

“Yeah,” said Simon and laughed. “But I’d like to give you some comfort and joy for Christmas. Up on that pile, I spied a large dining table. Two grown men could have a lot of fun on it.”

“Like buffing?” Henry liked buffing, particularly with his blue buffer.

“Leave the buffing to Guy,” said Simon and pulled Henry into a long kiss. 

“Show me this table of yours,” said Henry, with a grin, after they’d finished kissing.

“It could be solid oak,” said Simon, happily.

“As long as there are no splinters to go where no splinters should ever go, I don’t care what it’s made of. And I don’t think you’ll need all those layers on either.”

“Oh, Henry, you old romantic, you.”

“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,” began Henry.

“A petrol can in a pear tree,” finished Simon and hand in hand they went to Simon’s next item.


End file.
